Day 11: Post Melt Down

Day 11 and it hurts, oh gosh does it hurt...!!!

So, I had a bit of a melt down last night. I was in a lot of pain from the scan earlier in the day and the increase in hormones just sent me into emotional meltdown.

I was really hurting, but I got up to close the curtains and all of a sudden I just started crying and I cried and cried and cried and I cried so much, I ended up with a headache.
My mind was full of thoughts, almost resentful thoughts...........how unfair is it that so many people get pregnant without meaning to, many of whom end up feeling devestated that they are pregnant..................and here we are, going through all of this without any guarantees. We would give anything to have our own baby, but gosh it is just all so hard.

Of course, Patrick couldnt do right for doing wrong...!!! If he said anything...it was the wrong thing to say, if he didnt say anything...he was ignoring me while I was upset and of course he 'just didn't care'...!!!!!!!!!!

I also had a short rant on how it is so not fair that I have to do all of this and Patrick doesnt have to really do anything. My brother agreed with me that it wasn fair and suggested that I give Patrick a kick ...'you know where' once a day, to even out the pain distribution. An interesting idea...but knowing my luck that would probably make things even worse...!!!

A brief exchange of drunken memories with a good friend on facebook lifted my spirits again and I began to feel better.

I didnt really sleep well last night, I was very very sore and it was just agony everytime I moved, I just couldnt get comfortable.

Still very sore today. Just did injections, I seriously do not know what is going on with that Orgalutran injection, it seems to get harder to take every evening. Maybe its because I know what to expect but good grief...I won't be sorry to see the back of that one!

Not sure whether it is fear of losing his head (or needing to sit on an ice-pack for a  week) or just because he wants to be helpful, but Patrick is being great. (even if his humour is not appreciated all the time..........seriously, Men just don't 'get' hormones...!!!)  As I type, he is in the kitchen making dinner. He does, of course, keep coming in to check...just to make sure that he is doing everything EXACTLY how I want it...!!!

So, for now its an evening of relaxing and hoping this soreness passes soon.