Its nearly 4am and the pain in my lower right abdomen is just way too bad for me to be sleeping. It just won't ease up at all. I've taken the maximum amount of painkillers that I can. I even contacted my GP today to prescribe stronger painkillers for me as the ones they gave me leaving the hospital just weren't good enough.
My Mother-in-law was good enough to pick up the prescription, take it to the pharmacy to pick up the medication and bring it out to my house for me, but even those don't seem to be tackling this stabbing pain.
My right arm is also very swollen and sore from where the drip was in the hospital, something to do with the vein collapsing, so hopefully that will heal up soon.
I've spent the last hour just crying and crying. All I wanted was to have a baby and I just can't understand why I have to go through all of this, just because I wanted to have a baby. Its just not fair.
Patrick is laying beside me here, snoring away. Poor guy is exhausted and he has to go to work at 5:30am. The sound of his snoring used to drive me crazy but it doesn't really seem to bother me that much anymore. Now, it makes me smile. It reminds me of how tired he is because of how much he is doing for me. He is doing absolutely everything for me, won't let me lift a finger. He really has surprised and impressed me with how much he has stepped up to the mark and is not only taking care of me by doing all the physical things I am just not able to do right now, but he is also my emotional crutch right now, not to mention on-call cuddler, tear wiper and hand holder.
Writing on this blog really is an outlet for me. It really helps me to stabilise my emotions regarding this whole thing.
People often make comments to me that it must be terribly difficult to put such personal information on here, but you know what...it isn't difficult at all. Sometimes when I am writing on here I completely forget that so many people are reading it. It almost seems at times that I am just writing my thoughts in my own personal diary, a diary that I am more than happy to share with the world.
When we started this blog, we said that if it even helps just one person who is going through a similar situation, then it will be worth it. From all the comments and private messages we have received, it seems to have helped and touched quite a number of people, this just means the world to us.
It puts a positive spin on something that is not really positive right now (but hopefully will have a very positive ending) and even through my pain, that really does put a smile on my face.
I have 2 cats, one male, one female. The female cat is only 6 months old and is really the baby right now. She is so loyal and affectionate and does not leave my side when I am in pain. She curls up with me on the recliner and is quite happy to stay like that all day long.
The male cat is about a year older than her and well, he will go to anyone who even looks like they might give him some attention..........but it seems even he knows when I am really suffering, and he will jump up and lay on the arm of the chair beside me.
So, I suppose all in all, I'm really not too badly off (apart from the pain and soreness) with my wonderful husband taking care of me, our families running errands for me and my two feline minders by my side.......
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