Every night recently I have been having the most awful nightmares, they vary from being locked in a burning building, to being buried alive in an underground tomb, to Patrick having to wake me up because I am screaming and pulling my hair out in my sleep because I am dreaming that someone is stealing my baby.
I am going to see my GP on Tuesday so hopefully he will be able to help me with these.
I'm also having huge difficulty getting my head around the fact that our blastocysts are frozen and will be frozen for quite some time.
I guess I believe that once an egg is fertilised with a sperm, then it is a living being and I see these 8 blastocysts as our babies.
Its not so difficult thinking about the ones we will implant in January, but the ones that will be frozen for a few years are really bothering me. I just cant get my head around the fact that if we use 2 of them every 2 years from now, by the time we get to use the final two...they will already be 8 years old.
Maybe its my maternal instinct kicking in but I just hate the thought of our little beings being stuck in a cyrogenic freezer.
Apart from that, I'm not feeling too bad. I'm tired all the time because I am just not sleeping well. I am starting to get out of the house a bit now which is good, and I am having short periods of time where my pain is not too bad.
I am still quite swollen, finding it difficult to get any of my clothes to fit around my tummy right now, as it is quite swollen, so I am pretty much living in leggings for the time being.
Patrick did manage to get out for a drink this afternoon, the poor guy hadn't seen the inside of a pub in so long. It was good for him to get out and after how he's been looking after me, it was definately a well deserved few drinks.
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