Back To CFC

So we went back to Cork Fertility Centre on Tuesday. We parked the car across the road and as we walked to the building.. with every step I dreaded entering that building even more. I stopped on the footpath outside the Clinic and told Patrick that there is not one part of me that wants to enter that building. But we did enter the building...

The nurse scanned me and of course it hurt as much as it always did, and they went through the whole protocol once again about what will take place. To be honest, I found the whole thing quite tiresome and irritating. I just did not want to be there.

We then met with one of the Dr's who had some concerns about what has taken place since the transfer last September and what I have been through. Some of the cysts have returned already, but they are microcysts and apparantly should not pose too much of a risk.

We then met with an embryologist from the lab to sign consent forms for the fourth time. I felt that he put a lot of emphasis on the risk of the embryos not surviving the thawing process. Maybe he didnt emphasize it any more than they had before but it just seemed to me that he kept coming back to that point.

Everyone at the Clinic seemed quite surprised that we didnt have any questions about the transfer or the procedure... seriously like... we are pros at this stage!

We are both very numb to this, just going through the motions. Going back for the final transfer should have been our decision to make, but it wasnt... that decision was made for us and this isnt sitting very well with us.

Patrick picked up all the drugs for me today... so much medication, hormones and steroids. I think I am actually resentful that I have to pump all of those into my body again. I feel like I am just finally getting back to myself, all the weight I had put on with IVF Treatment was finally falling off and I was beginning to feel like myself again.

I keep reminding myself of why we are doing this but I genuinely do not have those jittery excited feelings I had every other time. I am now of the opinion that what will be, will be and our contribution to what will be has minimal effect on the outcome.

So basically I am now waiting for my cycle to begin so that I can start taking the hormones.

I will keep you all updated.......