At around 11:30am, I am awakened from my slumber by the sound of my phone beeping, thinking it was just a text message, I was prepared to ignore it and just respond later, but it was kinda niggling at me for some reason, so I picked up my phone to see that I had received an email from Gordon entitled 'New Blog', but there was no content to the email, not even an invitation to check for spelling mistakes and grammatical errors (I'm not a pedant, honestly...!!!).
I open the Aculife website on my phone to find a post from a very excited Gordon about his experience yesterday. Yesterday some pretty significant ground was broken. Yesterday two worlds collided and became one. Yesterday saw the welcoming of Complimentary Medicine into the world of Western Medicine. Yesterday was the day when a Practitioner of Traditional Chinese Medicine was welcomed into and permitted to work alongside the finest Doctors in the field of fertility and reproductive medicine. That's pretty amazing.
You see, up til now it has been a battleground where although acupuncture has been used to compliment fertility treatment for many years, It has been seen by most IVF Clinic Directors as a waste of time, as some Mickey-Mouse, complete waste of money attempt at giving yourself some sense of false hope. I've even been directly discouraged from having acupuncture as a compliment to my fertility journey by an IVF Clinic Director, despite its positive effects being unquestionably proven.
My experience has primarily been that acupuncture is somewhat of a taboo subject inside the walls of IVF Clinics and is met with a head-tilted, nodding sympathetically gesture of feigned empathy to the tune of 'Ah sure, you'll try anything when you want something so badly'.
This has meant that the morning of Transfer, the day that you need to be at your most relaxed, becomes the day when you have to perform a feat of logistically epic proportions on top of undergoing the whole Transfer process. Your timing must be precise... especially if, like me... you have to travel the morning of the transfer.
My experiences have been as follows... So, Transfer is at 12, but I need to call the Clinic at 10:30 to see if the embryos survived the thawing process, but in order to transfer at 12, I need to be at the Clinic by 11:30 at the latest and I need to leave at least 30 minutes of travel time between the Acupuncture Clinic and the Fertility Clinic to allow for traffic and trying to find parking and any other delays that may arise, so that means I need to leave the Acupuncture Clinic by 11, so I need to arrive at the Acupuncture Clinic for Pre-Transfer acupuncture at 10:15, which means that I need to leave home at 9am. Leaving home at 9am is not a problem, but having the constant worries of 'I'm going to be late......... I'm going to miss my appointment......... Oh God, why is there so much traffic???........ It's just raining, why has the whole world decided to drive at 5 miles an hour???... Why is there never anywhere to park?...' Along with the worries of ' I wonder if my embryos have even survived......... I've come all this way and I could be told that I have no embryos to transfer........ Only 20 more minutes til I can call the Clinic to find out.... seriously, is this clock going backwards...???' And once you have completed the Transfer, you then have to take some time to recover, before returning to the Acupuncture Clinic for Post-Transfer treatment...!!!
All of that stress and worry on top of what is a hugely stressful procedure anyway.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if you could arrive at the Fertility Clinic on the morning of Transfer, go to your prep room (which doubles as your own private recovery room), have your Acupuncturist there to treat you immediately before and after the Transfer and then go home and relax? What a different process that would be and that is what took place yesterday at SIMS. The burden of that extra stress was taken from the patient and distributed between the Fertility Doctors and the Acupuncturist. They had to figure out the logistics and the timing and it was up to them to make sure it all went as smoothly as possible.
And from what I understand, it was something quite amazing. You can read Gordon's blog post here.
What an amazing development and one he should be very, very proud of. He has created a synergy, he has built a bridge over sometimes hostile/sometimes toxic waters and that is an amazing step, a huge achievement........... So why have I been sitting here in a pathetic state of misery, crying inconsolably since reading it?
It should have been me... and that is not just me saying generally 'it should be me, when is it going to be my turn?'........ it actually should have been me.
On my second visit to SIMS Clinic, during my first full consultation with Dr. Walsh when we were discussing our next cycle (this was before we got the genetic results), I asked Dr. Walsh about acupuncture before and after Transfer and he responded that he would highly recommend it and knowing my connections with Gordon and Aculife Clinic, he suggested that I ask Gordon to recommend an Acupuncturist in Dublin that I can attend before and after Transfer. So... me being me, knowing that Gordon is already in discussions with Dr. Walsh over trying to create some sort of 'synergy' between the two Clinics, and also being of the long-standing impression that if you don't ask - you don't get.... explained to Dr. Walsh the importance of having your own Acupuncturist by your side, not just any Acupuncturist, but the Acupuncturist who has been on this journey with you, the Acupuncturist that you know, trust and respect, but also... the Acupuncturist that knows you, and knows what will work best for you. (Seriously, if I'm not gona let 'just anybody' cut my hair, I'm certainly not going to want 'just anybody' influencing the outcome of the most important procedure of my life...!!!). Aided by Patrick's smirking statement 'if its not gona be Gordon, its not gona happen'.
- Dr. Walsh agreed to it and thanked me for opening his eyes to the connection between the patient and her Acupuncturist. He told me to have Mr. Mullins contact him about it and they would put arrangements in place for Gordon to be present in SIMS immediately before and after my next transfer. He explained to me that it is not something that is usually allowed, but as they are in talks about it anyway and because of my long-time connection with Gordon and Aculife Clinic, it would actually be a good opportunity to trial and assess how it would actually work in practice.
Reading Gordon's blog post, I wanted to be so happy for him and I so appreciated that he had notified me directly of this blog post - I think it would have hit me a lot harder if I had just casually come across it. I couldn't help but have this be a huge reminder of just how much things have changed for me, Of where I am versus where I thought I would be. Yet again a reminder that I am being left behind and the world is moving ahead regardless. I felt like he was handing me the most amazing ice-cream with one hand, but chopping my arm off with the other. A fantastic step for fertility treatment, but one that is becoming further and further from my reach.
A follow-up email from Gordon told me that he was conscious of how it would make me feel and that even yesterday, as he entered SIMS Clinic to break this new ground, he was very aware that
'This was supposed to be Anne-Marie'
I am honoured that I even crossed his mind yesterday, and to that extent I guess I do feel that perhaps I was part of the process in some tiny way and I know I will be very proud of that... once the initial blow has passed.
It really shows the strength of Gordon's dedication and determination that he traveled from Cork to Dublin to carry out Pre and Post Transfer Acupuncture for one patient. He is a true advocate for this and his understanding of what a fertility patient actually goes though is second to none.
Now... I wonder how he feels about travelling to the Czech Republic for Pre and Post Transfer Acupuncture........ ;-)
You shared such a wonderful experience. Thanks for sharing this one.
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