Thursday, June 11, 2015

Graduation Heartache xx

We have Graduation for our Montessori classes at work on Saturday. This is a beautiful and very special occasion every year, it is something we work towards and look forward to for the whole year, and it is always the most amazing way to celebrate the boys and girls who will be leaving us and going on to 'big school'.

As beautiful as Graduation is every year, it is also extremely difficult. We are essentially saying 'goodbye' to these children who we have gotten to know so well, some of whom we have worked with since they were less than a year old. In 6 years, I have not once gotten through Graduation day without fighting back the tears at some point.

After last year's Graduation I braced myself because I knew that this year was going to be the most difficult one yet. I tried to push it out of my mind all year, but as I sit here tonight, trying in vain to write my speech for Saturday..... trying to write with my heart about the children who are graduating, while at the same time trying to block out and ignore what my heart is forcing me to vocalise.

The tears start and suddenly I don't know how I am going to do this. I don't know how I am going to stand up in front of almost 200 people and talk about this class of amazing and ever so special children that I have grown to know and care for so much..... while managing to keep it together and knowing that there is one little boy missing from this class. You see, Saturday is the day that our Noah should be getting all dressed up in his cap and gown. He should be sat on that stage waiting for his name to be called out so that he can come up and receive his certificate and yearbook. He should be beaming while his equally beaming-with-pride Dad wears out the camera taking pictures. 
Our Noah should be graduating from Montessori on Saturday, and heading off to 'big school' this September. 

While this is absolutely breaking my heart right now, I am so honoured to be a part of this for the 22 children who are actually graduating on Saturday, and while holding back the tears has always been a challenge on Graduation day..... I have a feeling that this year it will be a certified impossibility...!!!

Now that I have vocalised this... maybe now I will be able to find the words to complete this speech.......